Mustache
by Victoriaisdabomb
Summary: What happens when Edward starts cheating on Bella with every single girl in Forks High? What makes him hate Bella so much? Read to find out. Humorous


"Alice, I've got a problem." I said shakily

"What is it Bella? You haven't been talking to yourself again right?!"

"No it's not that." Just because I started talking to myself last year people keep worrying that I'm going crazy! It's not my fault Bob keeps talking to me inside my head!

"What is it then?" she asked.

"I think Edward is cheating on me with _Lauren_**." **I said her name in disgust.

"What makes you think he's cheating on you?"

"He keeps ignoring me and he uses his phone more then usual." I could tell that Alice was doubtful that Edward was cheating on me but I was positive.

"That could explain a lot of things Bella. I don't think Edward's cheating on you he loves you too much. How about you go talk to him tomorrow, ok?"

"Fine but when he's smooching Lauren in the middle of class, I'll be sure to tell you I was right!" And with that, I hung up the phone and headed to my bedroom imagining Edward making out with Lauren.

I was just about to fall asleep when Bob decided to start talking to me inside my head.

_Your ugly and stupid, that's why he's cheating on you,___Bob sneered.

"No!" I said out loud, "No, I love him! He can't be cheating on me!"

_You'll see once you talk to him tomorrow, _

When I woke up the next morning I noticed that Edward hadn't come to stay with me again. I felt a terrible ache in my chest. Bob was feeling smug and was enjoying my pain. All night he kept telling me reasons why Edward didn't love me anymore and how I should date Mike instead of Edward.

With a groan I slowly lifted myself from my mattress and got dressed. I decided to wear my dark blue jeans and a dark blue blouse Edward commented on before he started ignoring me.

I peeked at myself in the mirror before leaving. My eyes were puffy and red from crying and I had bags under my eyes. Edward wouldn't see a difference.

Once I got to school I saw a familiar bronze head in a crowd of people near the cafeteria.

Once I got closer I noticed the crowd of people were a crowd of girls all waiting to get a kiss from my Edward.

I pushed away the girls who were surrounding Edward ignoring their protests. Once I had a clear view of Edward I planted my feet and looked him straight in the eye.

"How could you?" was all I could mutter before turning on my heel and running toward the girl's bathroom.

EPOV

This was like a dream… or a nightmare.

The dream part was that I was surrounded girls that weren't Bella. Yeah I love Bella… well at least I used to. But she's changed in many ways.

Now the nightmare part is that I was going on a date with Lauren Mallory and she was pretty much panting over me! At least Bella wasn't talking to me. I wouldn't stand to be seen with Bella now that she's changed.

"_Edward_" Lauren said batting her eyelashes trying to be sexy.

"What?!" I hated when Lauren tried to be sexy it just looked like she had something in her eye.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come to my house after our date." She said with a wink.

_Ugh!_ _Yeah over my dead body! _I thought. Was Lauren that delusional?! I was only using her so Bella would break up with me and I'd never ever have to see her again.

Right at that moment I saw Bella breaking through all the girls that were surrounding me and coming to stand firmly in front of me.

I felt slightly guilty seeing the hurt in her eyes but I couldn't stand her anymore. So I looked straight into her eyes and kept my face completely blank.

"How could you?" I heard her whisper before she turned on her heel and ran to the girls bathroom.

I thought about running to her and telling her but I was momentarily distracted. Lauren had her hands on my chest and was reaching up to kiss, her lips puckered.

Completely disgusted with Lauren, I pushed her away from me and practically ran to my Volvo.

I was doing 80 before I even got to the highway.

I was halfway to my house when I saw a yellow Porsche trailing me with a very unhappy looking Alice in the driver's seat. I swiftly pulled the Volvo to the side of the rode and got out of the car.

Alice was leaning against her car glaring at me as I walked at human speed toward her. Nothings worse then when Alice is mad.

"I cant believe you!" she hissed,

I stared her blankly pretending not to know what she meant. Alice saw my expression and her face turned to pure fury.

"Like you don't know!" she sneered, "Your cheating on Bella! Bella still loves you and you cheat on her with every girl in Forks High!"

My eyes narrowed, "I have my reasons."

"Oh and what might that be?" she questioned.

"That's none of your business." I swiftly turned on my heel and headed back to my car.

"Oh yeah!" I heard her yell, "It might not be my business but it is Bella's. I mean, she's the one you're cheating on right?"

I paused. _Bella does deserve an explanation for my behavior._ I thought. This should be fun.

I kept walking to my car and sped off towards Bella's house. When I arrived her car was parked in the usual place. Charlie wasn't home yet. _Perfect_. I thought while getting out of my car and gently knocking on Bella's door.

I heard the soft patting as Bella went to answer the door. Bella's pale, unhappy face poked out from behind the door.

BPOV

I heard the soft purr of _his _car and a soft knock at the door. I thought about not answering it but I wanted to know so bad why Edward didn't love me anymore.

I slowly walked to the door and stuck my head out looking at his perfect face.

"What do you want?" I asked, my voice sounding strangled.

"Oh nothing really." He said sweetly. "I just wanted to tell you I hate you."

"Is that it." I asked. "Well ok."

I started closing the door but he stuck his foot out stopping it.

"That's it? Your fine that I cheated on you, that I hate you?" He asked, confused.

"Yup." I said, popping the p.

"Well… then I'll just say that I hate you because you talk in your sleep, show weakness by being clumsy, you talk to a voice inside your head named Bob-"

"Wait" I interrupted, "How do you know about Bob?" (By the way Bob was very upset right now. It's not good that people knew about him because he's in the V.I.P.H. Voice Inside a Person's Head association. They were supposed to be top secret.)

"Bella, _you talk in your sleep!_ Any way the most important reason why I hate you is because you have… you have a _mustache!_"

I gasped, "Alice said the makeup covered most of it up!" I yelled in outrage.

"Well Bella I don't think anything could cover that honker."

"Dang it!" Why didn't I shave today?

"Well Bella there's always Jacob," he suggested,

"No didn't you hear? Jake's going out with Mike Newton."

"But wait Mikes a-"

"Don't ask." I interrupted.

Once Edward was done gagging he started to talk again.

"Well I guess your doomed Bella. You'll marry no one! MUHAHAHA!"

"Thanks!" I said happily. "Bye Eddie!"

"Bye Bella!" He yelled and left.

"Now it's time to shave you Mr. Mustache." I said to myself.


End file.
